Kissing and hugging your children feels natural to most people. But there are many opinions on whether it is good or not to give kisses in the mouth to your children.After the model Victoria Beckham published a photo of her giving a kiss in the mouth to the daughter, the whole network began to discuss this topic. Now psychologists give their opinion.
Do you give your child kisses or not? That’s the question.
If you get used to giving kisses to your children’s mouth you are not the only one, but if someone asks you are children too big for this, you would not know the right answer. After the well-known model, Victoria Beckham shared a photo in social networks where she gives a kiss in the mouth to his daughter the network was filled with discussions.
One group thought that it was very weird for her to kiss the daughter in the mouth, others thought it was a very loving photo. The debate led Charlotte Reznick, a psychologist working with children, to make a professional assessment. According to her, she should never give children kisses in the mouth.
“If once you start kissing her in the mouth, when are you going to finish? It becomes very confusing, “says Reznick according to the Daily Mail.
Sexual awareness that confuses
The psychologist explains her theory and says that the sexual awareness of children begins early, so innocent kisses can create emotional bonds that confuse children. She says, that while it is not harmful to give children kisses when they are babies it is better not to do so as it can create many confusions in the future.
“When a child turns four, five or six years begin their sexual awareness (for some starts earlier), and then a kiss can stimulate them, says Reznick.
“If someone asked me when you should stop kissing your children I would tell you that already,” he tells the Daily Mail.
Not everyone agrees
All of the psychologists do not agree with Reznick’s opinion. In a number of the Sun newspaper, Sally-Anne McCormack criticizes the opinion of Reznick.
“There is no chance that a kiss on the mouth can be confusing for them. That’s like saying that breastfeeding can be confusing, “says McCormack. The doctor Fiona Martin, agrees with her and says that kisses in the mouth show that you love them.
But Reznick defends her view that women should never give kisses in the mouth to their children because they do not need it.
It’s better to kiss your son on the cheek.
The psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Myriam Szejer says it clearly: it is better to kiss children on the cheeks. “In addition, this applies to both girls and boys, whether the father or mother resorts to this practice.” Because we might think that a mother’s kiss would be more acceptable, for example. Or that a kiss to a newborn or a young child would be less serious. This is not like this. In fact, the psychoanalyst insists and advises against this practice no matter how old the child is.
Social and cultural codes
Why are some specialists so resounding with this topic? Because the risk is putting the child in a delicate situation. “Children know very well the codes of our society. They know that kissing on the lips is not the rule. This gesture with a father could destabilize him by touching incestuous limits on the norms of our society. ”
This practice could upset the child. Some children may even slow down parents who want to kiss them this way. “If the rejection comes from the child is a sign that the malaise is already present and expresses it through its refusal.”
The child who asks for it
On the contrary, if instead of rejecting these kisses, it is the child who claims them, as a father you will have to set limits. For that, “you will simply have to talk to the son and tell him that he is older and that from now on the kisses of Mom and Dad will be on the cheek.
Then you have to teach her that the kisses on the lips are only for adults in love, “advises Myriam Szejer. This will allow clear boundaries, especially with other family members, siblings or grandparents, for example.
Caresses allowed with the child
That you do not kiss your child in the mouth does not mean that you have to deprive him of affection. “On the contrary, kisses, and caresses are recommended, but in certain places of the body. Even if the child can not defend himself does not mean that he does not have to respect his integrity “, affirms the specialist.
It is also a matter of hygiene
In addition to the psychosocial aspects, kissing the children in the mouth can also carry risks of infectious diseases. Indeed, health professionals and authorities are unanimous: with this gesture can transmit to the child many infectious germs.
Even if there are no symptoms and are out of periods of an epidemic, you can be carriers of viruses that are responsible for colds, flu, gastroenteritis or herpes. It is also not recommended to kiss babies on the face if you are in an epidemic period of gastroenteritis or influenza.
What do you think about giving children kisses in the mouth, is it okay or not